To You I Cannot Say
by momago
Summary: "If only you could see how precious you are to me." Jean/Armin. Heavily implied sexual content. Fluff.


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_"I'm not really that good at anything, but I want to help out as much as I can,"_

_"I wish… I wish, I wish; I could help others as they help me," _

_"Why did you save me? I don't deserve that,"_

Jean's expression tightened as he looked at the small boy sleeping quietly beside him. Naked form tangled in the silk sheets; body rising and falling soundlessly, blonde lashes fluttering along his cheeks with the occasional myoclonic twitch. Armin jerked a lot in his sleep, Jean came to notice.

_What are you dreaming about?_

He traced his fingers delicately along Armin's soft cheek.  
_  
Are you dreaming about killing?_

Jean pressed his lips to the bridge of his nose. He remained motionless; his mouth began to tingle from such close contact.

_Are you dreaming about dying?_

Brows tightening, Jean wrapped his arms around Armin's frame. He pulled him close and tight against his own body, face nestling into the crook of his soft neck. He inhaled—then exhaled.

"Jean?" Armin's sleepy voice broke the silence. Of course he woke up; Jean was clinging to him. The affection wasn't rejected, though. Armin snuggled closer. Jean's features were illuminated by the moonlight that flooded the room, his expression troubled. This lead Armin to frown too; faintly murmuring "What time is it?"

"Dunno," Jean responded.

"Hm," Armin sighed sleepily in response. His thin arms wrapped around Jean's large figure, tiny fingers tracing along the man's back. "Are you having trouble sleeping again?"

Jean was quiet for a moment. He pulled the sheets up higher, snuggling tighter against the blonde. "Yeah,"

It wasn't an unusual occurrence. Jean would roll around for hours before he was able to fall asleep, regardless how exhausted he was. Even after spending the day running around doing simple errands (it hadn't been chaotic, thankfully) and going out for social drinks with Connie and Marco; and even spending the night with Armin afterwards, he laid wide awake.

Armin didn't respond for a while. He allowed the pads of his fingers to trace patterns along Jean's bare back, delicate, hardly there touches that earned an occasional shiver. "Is there anything bothering you?" He spoke finally.

Jean simply shrugged.

It was obvious that Armin was still plagued with sleep; but still, he wiggled closer to Jean, lips pressing softly to his jawline. He peppered his neck with chaste pecks, fingers kneading deeper into his back. "I'm sorry,"

"It's not your fault, Armin."

"I wish I could help. You deserve the sleep more than I do, for someone in your posi—"

_"Armin,"_

Jean's tone was laced with an unusual sharpness. Armin pulled back and blinked, gazing sleepily at his lover with a questioning expression.

"Just be quiet. I'm sorry I woke you," He sighed in defeat. Armin's worried blue gaze didn't cease however; guilt tugging at Jean's gut as he groaned. He would always instantly regret snapping at Armin. The boy's bamboozled expression tore him apart bit by bit. "Go back to sleep, okay?" He murmured.

Armin's lips curled into a pout, to which Jean leaned in and gave a reassuring peck to his forehead. Armin scrunched his nose.

"Goodnight,"

"I'm not going to sleep if you're not!" Armin sputtered out, brows furrowing sternly as his cheeks puffed out.

Jean stared at him blankly for a moment before he chuckled. "You're ridiculous," His arms snaked around the boy's waist, pulling Armin on top of him in one swift movement. The blonde squeaked in surprise but quickly got settled in his new position. His hand reached out, fingers entwining with Jean's.

"I just want you to be able to sleep, too," Armin added quickly. His voice was muffled by the skin of Jean's chest, where his face was currently burrowed. "It's not fair if you can't."

"At least I don't start to doze off on the job if I don't get enough sleep," Jean commented.

"H-Hey!"

The man laughed, leaning down to steal a quick kiss from the blonde. Armin seemed taken aback momentarily; but hummed against Jean's lips nonetheless. Jean smirked before pulling away. "I love you,"

Armin's cheeks flushed.

Jean nipped the tip of Armin's nose, causing him to yelp and attempt to roll off of the other. Jean's arms tightened around him, though, keeping him secure in his place as he continued to shower the boy in an arrayal of affection. It wasn't long before Armin buried his face back into Jean's chest, tensing up in an attempt to escape Jean's kisses. If he received anymore, the poor boy's face felt as if it would light on fire.

"Going to sleep now?" Jean chuckled, running his free hand through Armin's hair. He kept his own eyes closed; relaxing.

"No," Armin responded stubbornly.

"Your snoring lures me to sleep, though,"

Armin's head shot up. "W-What?! I snore? But you said I—"

Jean's laughter gave Armin the answer he needed, to which the blonde frowned. He gave Jean a flick to the forehead, settling down against him again. "Stupid,"

"Goodnight,"

_"Please don't say such things,"_

_"You help me in ways I didn't know I could be helped. Thank-you, really. Without you; where would I be? Where would anyone be?"_

_"We need your support. We need your logic, your kind heart and your will to live. We need you!"_

And… well.

_"__**I need you.**__"  
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end


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